Tonks's heart leapt when she saw the post owl fluttering about in her room, but the note it carried was only from Molly.

I'm sorry, dear. He didn't come the morning after transformation, and I haven't received word. I thought he might come to see Harry off--Harry would like it a great deal if he did!--but he didn't. He came just before the full moon and got your letter, so he probably just didn't think it was necessary to come right away. I'm sure he's quite fine, and you'll hear from him soon. Chin up!

I know you and the others will be watching Hogsmeade station tonight. Arthur tells me that Harry has taken sneaking around a bit--make sure he's with Ron and Hermione when they get off the train. And that they aren't trying to sneak off somewhere. Honestly! Harry is not always an easy boy to watch.

Tonks rolled it up, then changed her mind and burned it. She wrote a quick thank-you-anyway note to Molly and headed down to lunch.

Proudfoot and Savage were sitting at a round table in the middle of the tavern. Savage waved her over impatiently. "Dawlish is getting a report from Robards," she said. "He should be down shortly."

Tonks sat down. "A report? Did something go wrong with the Express in London?"

"I imagine," Proudfoot said, "that the report would inform us about that one way or the other." He spread out a copy of the Daily Prophet and proceeded to ignore Tonks.

She ordered a bowl of stew and a glass of pumpkin juice and tried to think of something to discuss with her colleagues. Nothing came to mind.

Dawlish rumbled downstairs five minutes later, his hands full of scrolls. He dropped them onto the table. "All right," he said, "the Hogwarts Express left the station without incident. The Chosen One appears to be in one piece on their end, and now it's our job to make sure he's properly coddled." His upper lip curled in unconscious distaste. Tonks thought about Harry--skinny, dirty, lonely, and in the dark at Privet Drive--and fought with a strong urge to throttle her supervisor. Dawlish didn't notice. "Proudfoot, I want you on Dementor patrol. They've been quiet lately, but You-Know-Who may decide it's a fine opportunity to frighten students--make a statement to Dumbledore or whatnot. I understand they're particularly nasty to Potter."

"Harry can handle Dementors," Tonks muttered.

"What?"

"He's made a point of learning to handle Dementors," she said again. "That's all."

"Yes, well, I would still prefer that we 'handle' them, as that's one of our responsibilities."

Tonks nodded.

"Savage," Dawlish said, "you take the lake shore. During the Grindelwald war, a supporter tried to make a symbolic attack by overturning the first-years' boats in choppy water. Dumbledore has spoken to the merpeople and asked them to keep watch for disturbances under the surface. You watch for any activity above ground--hexes, magical beasts, and so on. I'll be watching the carriages and those bloody thestrals. I can't imagine why Dumbledore allows those horrors near the students and I don't trust them, but there you have it. Tonks, you'll be overseeing the train, making sure all the little darlings leave safely. Keep an eye out for anyone lurking about who shouldn't be there. Tell me if anyone is, even if nothing happens. I want to know who's taking an interest in Hogwarts students."

"Is anyone keeping track of the train en route?" Tonks asked. "There was an attack on the train during the Grindelwald war as well."

Dawlish rubbed his forehead. "Right. No, Robards didn't have anyone watching the train. Apparently, there's a staff member on board--one Horace Slughorn--but I remember Slughorn, and he's old and slow. Get your broomstick. Fly south, watch it. Savage, you wait an hour--get your breath--and watch the track ahead of it."

Tonks finished her stew quickly, went to her room to grab her broomstick, and left, Disillusioning herself to avoid Muggle notice.

The sky was bright and clear in the north, a bit cloudier as she went south, taking on a decidedly grayish tinge in the more industrial areas. She spotted the train close to two o'clock, between Leicester and Nottingham, and set her pace above it, scanning the country to either side of the track, watching for suspicious movements. It was dull, dreary work with no company, and knowing Savage was perhaps a hundred miles north of her doing the same thing didn't mitigate it.

Passing over Sherwood Forest, she wondered if that was where Remus was living in hiding, among Greyback's wolves. It didn't seem likely--too many people, too small an area. And she didn't know of any magical enclaves there that might hide them. She also didn't think it was riddled with caves as Remus suggested his own forest was, though she wasn't entirely certain. She shook it off. Dreary or not, she had to keep her mind on the task at hand.

The air grew colder as the hours passed and the sky began to darken, and Tonks began to be more concerned about Dementors. She could see their mist in several places--some uncomfortably close to the tracks--and for awhile just outside of Durham, when thick fog rolled up close to the train on both sides for two miles, she was convinced that an attack was imminent. She swooped lower, hovering directly above the engine, but the narrow place opened up without incident, and the train went on into the night.

By the time they reached Hogsmeade station, she was tired and achy, and quite certain that she'd missed something somewhere. She perched on the roof of the shelter, still Disillusioned, as the train came to a stop, and watched the students filing out. To her surprise, Hagrid wasn't there, and another teacher--Tonks thought it was the Arithmancy teacher, but she wasn't certain--was calling the first years to the boats.

She frowned. Hagrid? Missing a duty he'd always enjoyed? It didn't add up.

Several small first years tumbled out of the group, gathering around the teacher and laughing. No one seemed troubled.

Tonks watched the luggage being pulled aside to be taken up to the school. Nothing out of place.

Ginny Weasley emerged from the train with handsome boy on her arm. They were chatting amiably. Neville Longbottom and a girl with long, thin blond hair were engaged in what appeared to be an intense conversation. Tonks looked around them; it would make sense for Harry, Ron, and Hermione to be somewhere near Neville and Ginny, as they were all friends, but there was no sign of them. Perhaps Ron and Hermione had prefect duties to attend to, but if that were the case, then where was Harry?

A Slytherin girl with an upturned nose came out directly below Tonks, flanked by a pair of dull looking boys and one nearly illegally good-looking one. "What do you suppose he's doing?" she asked.

The good looking boy shrugged disdainfully. "Probably trying to decide on which nonsensical story he'll tell you next, Parkinson. He'll be along, I imagine. Let's get a carriage."

"I'll wait," Parkinson said, and leaned against the shelter's support right under where Tonks was sitting. The boys went on ahead.

Finally, Tonks spotted a head of brown, bushy hair below, accompanied by another in bright Weasley red. Ron and Hermione. She straightened up, looked through the crowd around them for Harry's black, tousled hair.

No Harry.

Ron and Hermione came close to where she was. Both of them were frowning and casting concerned glances ahead.

"D'you reckon we should wait?" Ron asked.

"I'm not sure. He may have gone ahead with Neville and Ginny."

"Oh, is ickle Potter gone?" Parkinson asked, stepping into their conversation. "Poor baby Harry..."

Hermione turned on her. "I'm sure," she said, "that he's just gone on ahead."

"Well, you can't expect him to bothered waiting around for a mudblood forever."

Ron drew his arm back, and Hermione caught it, leading him toward the carriages.

Parkinson leaned back, looking happier.

A moment later, a tall blond boy came out, smirking. With a start, Tonks realized that it was her cousin Draco Malfoy, Aunt Narcissa's boy. She had never seen him up close before. He took Parkinson's hand. "Shall we?"

"What kept you?"

"I'll tell you later," he said, and led her away.

The platform was empty.

There was still no sign of Harry. Tonks wondered if he had decided to hide from something. If so, it was certainly time to stop.

She climbed down, leaving her broomstick on the roof, and scanned the train, which was preparing to depart. It occurred to her very briefly that she could tell the engineer to wait, but if Harry was hiding, there might be good reason for it, and it would be wise not to call attention to it. She slipped on board.

In all of her years at Hogwarts, she'd never had an opportunity to be on the train when it was empty, and it was slightly eerie. Spilled sweets, crumpled wrappers, a broken luggage rack all gave testimony to the busy crowd that had just left, but now seemed to belong to some other world. Her footsteps echoed.

She poked her head into an open compartment, and didn't see Harry, then remembered that Dumbledore had instructed him not to travel without his Invisibility Cloak. Perfect. That would make it next to impossible to find him if he didn't want to be found.

"Harry?" No answer. She broke the Disillusionment spell so that he could see her if he was here. "Harry?"

Still no answer.

She moved on, checking compartments to either side. There was a lurch as the train prepared to move--she supposed it was releasing its brakes--and something thudded heavily from a compartment three up from where she was. The shade was drawn. No noise followed the thud.

The floor began to vibrate as the engine started.

She opened the door.

There was no sign of Harry, but a piece of parchment on the floor disappeared suspiciously halfway up its width.

She raised her wand and Summoned the Invisibility Cloak.

It flew up into her hands, revealing Harry, frozen in a crouch, his face turned away from her. As he didn't turn when the Cloak flew from him, she deduced that he couldn't.

"Wotcher, Harry," she said, by way of introduction, then quickly broke the Curse. He rolled over and quickly arranged himself into something like a dignified position, but as soon as he looked up, she could see that his face was covered in blood. A cold, dull anger spread through her. Whoever had attacked had rendered him helpless first. There was no time to ask about it--a billow of steam covered the windows, and the train began to move. "We'd better get out of here, quickly," she said. "Come on, we'll jump."

She led him back out into the corridor and pushed open a door. The platform was sliding by outside, and she silently prayed that, for once, she wouldn't trip over her own feet and strand them both here. She jumped.

The landing was easy. Harry followed. He stumbled more than she did.

She handed him back his cloak and looked at his face. Now, she could see that his nose was badly broken. "Who did it?"

"Draco Malfoy. Thanks for... well..." He shrugged, looking embarrassed.

Malfoy. Of course. Tonks winced, remembering him swaggering out to his girlfriend. Shame vied with anger, and she kept her face carefully blank to avoid letting either get the better of her. Her dear cousin. Of the cousins to still be alive...

She shook it off. "No problem. I can fix your nose if you stand still."

Harry looked less than thrilled to have her handle the problem, but Mum had made very sure that she knew basic first aid spells, and she fixed it quickly and thoroughly. She looked up the road toward the school. The carriages were quite a distance from here, and she didn't like the thought of Harry being there with only a single protector, out in the open. "You'd better put that cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school," she said, and while he was getting it arranged, she sent her Patronus ahead to let Hagrid know they'd be coming. The gates would undoubtedly be closed by the time they got there.

"Was that a Patronus?" Harry asked.

Surprised, Tonks turned in his general direction, and was a bit disconcerted to find that he'd vanished again, despite the fact that he'd done so at her direction. It hadn't occurred to her that no one had taught him how to communicate with the Order. She'd have to mention it to Dumbledore.

As they walked toward the school, Harry tried to engage her in conversation about how she'd found him and why she was there, and she wanted to join it--she answered him when she could--but the night was too cool, and the mists were close, and Tonks was less than certain that it was a good idea for her to be seen talking to thin air. It was also quite an uncomfortable sensation to do so... and she found, to her sadness, that she couldn't think of anything to say. If she'd had a letter from Remus, perhaps she could have said something about how he was, and opened up a conversation, but the only other thing she could think to talk to Harry about was Sirius, and she didn't think he'd appreciate the reminder.

They reached the school gate fifteen minutes later and Harry promptly tried to open them with magic. Tonks explained some of the new security, much to Harry's consternation. He seemed to be angry with her about it for some obscure reason. In the distance, she saw a bobbing light leave the castle's great front door. Hagrid.

"Well, then," he said, "I suppose I'll just have to sleep out here and wait for morning."

"Someone's coming down for you," she said. "Look."

The bobbing light came closer as Harry took of the Invisibility Cloak, and just as Tonks realized that it was considerably lower than it should have been for Hagrid, Severus Snape came into view. He was sneering unpleasantly.

"Well, well, well," he said. "Nice of you to turn up, Potter..."

Tonks rolled her eyes and wished for the hundredth time since last year that Snape would just grow up. This nonsense was tiring.

"There is no need to wait, Nymphadora," he said, making her given name sound like even more of a nasty joke than it usually did. "Potter is--ah--safe in my hands."

"I meant Hagrid to get the message," she said.

"Hagrid was late for the start-of-term feast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead." He smiled even more nastily. "And incidentally, I was interested to see your new Patronus." Tonks went cold as Snape led Harry inside and shut the gates with an echoing clang. "I think you were better off with the old one." His tone became snide, cutting. "The new one looks weak."

Tonks felt the blood drain from her face. Of all the nasty, vicious... how dare he?

He led Harry back into the dark.

Tonks remained where she was as Harry called a farewell, feeling stunned and wrong-footed. She'd been frightened of Snape as a small girl, and increasingly annoyed by his frequent tempers as she'd grown up, but it hadn't been until she'd got to know Sirius and heard stories Remus had never told her that she'd understood the long-standing childhood grudge he was bearing. Harry'd got the brunt of it, and she thought she'd seen the worst of what was directed at her once in school, when he'd given her detention and called her "Miss Black" in the course of castigating her for some misdeed. But this...

This was a new low.

A bit of white light lit the night, and she looked down to see her Patronus loping back to her. She was surprised; there was no reason for it to have remained corporeal after delivering the message.

She was glad.

She went back to the station to get her broomstick, then walked back toward Hogsmeade in silence, the ghostly form of Moony beside her most of the way, dissipating only as she reached the edge of town.

A phoenix feather was waiting on the floor of her room when she got back, and she groaned--she was cold and tired, and had hoped that any messages she found would be from Remus, and that after reading them and being assured, she could sleep.

No such luck.

She wondered what Dumbledore--

She stopped in the middle of bending over to pick up the feather, her traitor imagination supplying the answer even before she'd formed the question:

Nymphadora, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this... In a war, sometimes we lose our dearest...

She ran from the Hog's Head, barely noticing the sound of her feet on the cobblestones, and worked the security charms at the Shrieking Shack. She remembered to check to see if anyone was watching--no one was--but she didn't think she'd have stopped if the whole village happened to be having a picnic at the gate. She flew through the house and dropped into the tunnel, slowing only when it became too low and narrow to maintain her run. She could hear the ragged sound of her breath echoing in the silence.

Her pace dropping off, her mind stopped racing along with her. "Dumbledore would have come himself," she muttered aloud. "Stupid. He wouldn't just send a feather. He'd come and he'd tell me. He'd tell me as soon as he knew."

It made sense. But she couldn't stop her mind from qualifying. He'd have come himself... except that he keeps the Order business as quiet as he can around students, and he had to be there when they arrived. He wouldn't just send a feather... unless it was an emergency. He'd tell me as soon as he knew... except, of course, that her work today had involved looking after Harry, and that was too important to risk her mind not being there.

She stopped beneath the tunnel's exit beneath the tangled roots of the Whomping Willow and took a deep breath. Running frantically to Dumbledore and frightening half of Hogwarts by dashing in when they'd just been assured they were protected was hardly professional behavior, and it wasn't justified. Dumbledore was not a cruel man, and if her dire imaginings were true, he'd have found a less alarming way to contact her. Even if he hadn't come himself, he might have contacted her parents, or Molly Weasley, or even Mad-Eye. It wouldn't be a vague feather, summoning her to a shadowy meeting.

He had things on his mind other than her connection to his werewolf spy.

She let her breathing become slower, and cleared her mind. She couldn't just go tearing onto the grounds, or even casually walking onto them. Disillusionment wouldn't be effective if she happened to pass close by a student, and would in fact cause suspicion. She would need to blend in.

Transfiguring her clothes would be easy--change her everyday clothes to a Hogwarts robe, Conjure some insignia. Any other time, she'd just morph herself into a teenager and stride right up to his office, but that, just lately, was a bit problematic. She considered this in a muddy sort of way, her mind insisting on battering her with imaginary calamities and getting in the way of her job, which wasn't acceptable.

She would just have to do without.

She Transfigured her jeans and long, half-robe top into a simple black robe--not quite a school robe, but inconspicuous--and pulled herself up from the tunnel. The grounds were quiet and dark when she touched the knot on the trunk that would keep the tree still until she was clear of it. There was no sign of Hagrid, no sign of patrolling staff, hardly any movement. The castle itself, however, was alive. Candlelight flickered in all of the towers, and even at a distance, Tonks could hear the laughter of students reunited after a trying summer, sharing their stories with one another. She slipped through a passage into the staff room--checking it quickly with a Detection Spell first and finding it empty, and wishing that she had something like Harry's map to get her in and out--and let herself into the corridors.

People were passing here and there, but no one took much notice of her. She overheard an older student ask her friend if there was another new teacher this year, and her friend groaned something about hoping it meant there would be an alternative teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and then they were out of earshot. No one else commented on the odd adult walking among them.

The students needed to be more careful.

She arrived at Dumbledore's office to find McGonagall standing beside the stone gargoyle that guarded the staircase. She nodded curtly, turned to the gargoyle, and said, "Acid Pops."

It leapt aside.

Tonks climbed onto the rotating staircase behind her, wanting to ask why she'd been summoned, but not wanting to reveal her more fearful imaginings. McGonagall glanced back at her curiously, but didn't press her to talk. She knocked on Dumbledore's door.

"Enter."

They went into the circular office, where Dumbledore was sitting at his desk in a dressing gown and nightcap, writing notes in an open ledger. He finished, and Banished the book to a shelf beneath the Sorting Hat. "Ah," he said. "Nymphadora. Severus tells me that you brought Harry safely to the gates earlier. Thank you."

"It's my job," Tonks said. Her voice sounded tinny in her ears. If there were news about Remus, it certainly would have come out first. So why wasn't she particularly relieved?

"You did it well." He indicated two chairs, and Tonks and McGonagall took them. "I'm also given to understand that there was an incident on the train. Harry's face was still quite bloody when he arrived."

Tonks winced. "I should have cleaned that up when I healed him. I didn't even think about it."

"Miss Granger was more than capable of the task," Dumbledore said. "I am more concerned about what caused the condition. Did Harry share that information with you?"

"It was the Malfoy boy," Tonks said quickly. "I don't think he'd mind my telling you."

McGonagall frowned. "Harry and Malfoy have been at one another's throats since they arrived. I should have tried harder to discourage it."

Dumbledore looked troubled, but didn't say anything about Draco Malfoy. Instead, he looked at his fingertips on the desk for quite a long time, then said, "I'm afraid I've come to the conclusion that I shall be away from the school fairly often this year. I'd hoped to have finished this summer's investigations earlier--or at least to have made more headway on them--but, alas, there is much left to do. Minerva, as always, I trust you to see to the safety of the students in my absence."

McGonagall nodded.

Dumbledore looked at Tonks. "Nymphadora, I need you on the ground in Hogsmeade. Voldemort may well consider any absence of mine to be a ripe moment to infiltrate Hogwarts. For that reason alone, I wouldn't leave if it could be avoided. But as it cannot be avoided, it should be used--I want you to keep your eyes and ears open, discover who may be inordinately interested in my comings and goings."

"Yes, sir."

He frowned. "There is another matter of some concern..." He looked up at the portraits. "Phineas, will you kindly return to Grimmauld Place and tell Alastor and Weasleys that all is well, and the train arrived safely?"

From his portrait, Phineas Nigellus spoke up indignantly. "I hardly think it is necessary for me to be your message boy on such a--"

"Phineas, please."

He huffed out of the frame, looking mortally insulted.

"I would rather not share this with Phineas, for fear he will share it with the other portraits at Grimmauld Place, particularly Mrs. Black's. She is quite likely to frighten off a promising avenue..."

"A what?"

Dumbledore proceeded with caution. "I returned to Grimmauld Place yesterday," he said. "My intention was simply to meet with Hestia Jones. I took Kreacher with me as a kindness; he wished to retrieve items from his den. I paid little attention to him until he came screaming back into the kitchen, insisting that the Order had been stealing from him."

"Stealing from him?" McGonagall interjected. "Oh, for heaven's sake!"

"To the best of my ability to ascertain, he's quite correct. All of the photographs he salvaged from our rather thorough housecleaning have been removed. Upon inspection with Kreacher's grudging assistance, we also discovered that several pieces of jewelry were missing, all old family pieces, few of any great intrinsic value. Kreacher was quite beside himself."

"Photographs and old family trumpery?" Tonks asked. "And Kreacher didn't take them?"

"No. But I surmise that someone has smuggled them out of the house, and that they have a willing buyer."

"Bellatrix."

He nodded. "It's a foolish chance to take, but most who have seen her agree that she is not entirely in her right mind. She may be challenging Sirius's will the only way she can--by re-acquiring everything she values."

"Only the Order can enter the house..." McGonagall said, her voice trailing off as she realized the implications. "We have a traitor."

"We have an opportunist," Dumbledore corrected her. "And, I might add, an opportunist to whom Sirius rather casually gave permission to ransack family valuables, so he probably feels quite morally pure. Or as pure as Mundungus Fletcher ever feels."

"Dung is selling to Bellatrix?"

"Dung is stealing what there is a market for. He may not have come to the conclusion that the final owner will be Bellatrix Lestrange. We can't even be entirely certain. But I am interested in finding out where these items go after he relinquishes them. I've asked Kingsley to keep a eye out for Mundungus's sales in London, and I would very much like for you to do the same in Hogsmeade, Nymphadora."

"If I see him, I'll--"

"You'll let him make his sales, and follow where the items go. They may lead you to Bellatrix, and where you find Bellatrix, we may all find Voldemort."

"I'd like this a lot better if you told me you'd asked Mundungus to pretend to be a thief," Tonks grumbled.

"As would I." Dumbledore smiled faintly. "And speaking of people who I've asked to pretend some rather unsavory things..."

Tonks's heart jumped into her throat. "Have you heard from Remus?"

Dumbledore's response to the question disturbed her more than anything else she'd seen today. His eyes widened in surprise, and he stood up. "I meant to ask if you had. He hasn't checked in after the transformation?"

The world went glassy. "No," Tonks heard herself say. "Molly hasn't seen him. She said he checked in just before it... When you first sent the feather, I thought the worst..."

"I wouldn't send a feather," Dumbledore said. "Not for that."

"Not for what?" a voice said from above, and Tonks looked up to see Phineas Nigellus settling back into his frame.

"Phineas, I need you to go back."

"What, am I now meant to tell them that their precious little angels have been well fed and are now settled in their beds?"

"Tell Alastor Moody to put on his Invisibility Cloak and find Remus Lupin and have him contact us. Immediately."

Phineas left without making any rude comments, though he did turn his nose up.

Dumbledore gave Tonks a kind look. "In all likelihood, he has simply not had a chance to contact us, but when he checks in, I will impress upon him the need to surface at some regular interval, preferably after any transformation. Would you care to wait?"

She nodded.

McGonagall tried to reassure her, and Dumbledore had the house elves bring up food from the kitchens, which remained untouched as one hour passed, then two. Conversation lagged. Phineas went back and forth to London, breezily informing them on each return that Mad-Eye was still out and about. Finally, Dumbledore told him to stay put, and sent Fawkes to wait and bring back word.

Just before midnight, a bright fireball lit the room, and Fawkes emerged from it, carrying a scrap of parchment. He dropped it onto the desk. It was in Mad-Eye's large scrawl, and Tonks could read it upside down.

Lupin safe, it read, and her heart slowed measurably. No chance to talk to him; Greyback hovering. Will go back and try and catch a word before he sleeps, but thought you--and whoever else might be worried--would want to know he's in one piece. Moody.

Tonks didn't get another owl until Thursday morning.

It was Errol, and she found him waiting for her at the end of her night shift, sleeping perched on the edge of her cauldron. She took the message.

Tonks,

Molly

Tonks smiled and shook her head, sending Errol home empty-taloned. She ran a brush through her hair before Apparating after him.

The Burrow struck her as nearly sedate with no children in the vicinity, the empty garden rolling away in lush greens that disappeared into nothing. Several pairs of boots were missing from beside the door. She knocked. "Molly? It's Tonks."

The door started to open, then shut, and Arthur said, "Er... I... well, are... erm..."

Another voice spoke up softly. "Who did Alan Garvey have a photograph of in his office?"

She smiled and leaned her head on the door, trying to remember the name of the television character Remus's colleague had a framed photograph of in their shared office last year and thinking fondly of afternoons spent engaged in pleasant nonsense. "It was... oh, the one with the spots. On the space program. Started with a J."

"Hmmm..."

She reached for the door, but it remained shut. "Oh, all right. What did Sirius give me of his mother's?"

Total silence, and Tonks winced, because of course it was the wrong thing to ask, the wrong thing to think about on every level.

Sirius had given her his mother's wedding robes.

The door opened into shadow, and she was in Remus's arms before she did much more than catch a glimpse of his face. She kissed him, then punched him in the chest and pulled away. Molly was leaning against the sink, and Arthur was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Thank you, Molly," Tonks said.

"I didn't even need to restrain him."

"I wanted to see you," Remus said, sitting down at the table. Tonks traced his face with her eyes, feeling the sharp lines of his cheekbones and the rough but weirdly soft skin of his jaw in her mind. It felt like she was basking in sunlight after a long rainy spell. "I was going to see you on Monday night, but Moody wouldn't lend me the Cloak."

"Hmph," Molly said. "I'm sure it would have been a great comfort to her to not see you."

"Moody already gave me that lecture, Molly." He turned to Tonks. "No one is on my side on this particular issue."

"You're the only person who's not on your side," Arthur said, and stood up, holding his hand out to Molly. "I think we should bring in some peas from the garden," he said. "Before they go to seed."

She raised an eyebrow, then followed him out.

Tonks sat down across the table from Remus and held her hands out across the table. He stared at them, covered them with his own, then drew away and stood up, lacing his long fingers behind his neck and looking up at a nondescript corner of the ceiling. "Dumbledore has impressed upon both Molly and myself the need to check in immediately after transformations. If I haven't done so within a day, he'll send Moody."

"Good."

"Not really." He sighed and sat down again. "I'm sorry you were worried. I'm really not accustomed to having someone concerned about where I've gone."

"Bollocks," Tonks said. "I've always worried about you. Even before I knew. I remember you disappearing the year after Sirius went to Azkaban."

"It was a bad transformation."

"Then or now?"

"Then. It was bad then." His hand had crept to hers, and he looked down, apparently surprised to find his finger trailing along her wrist. He drew it away. "Honestly, as transformations go, these have been rather easy. At least the transformation part. As much as I hate to admit it, Greyback knows more tricks of lycanthropy than I do, and some things have proven... well, that's neither here nor there."

Tonks frowned. Whatever was going through Remus's mind, it appeared to be here, there, and everywhere else.

"I fell asleep after the transformation," he went on. "And when I woke up, Greyback was there. He'd brought several of the children. They'd got a pile of books. I don't think Greyback was happy about it, but they wanted to learn to read."

"That's marvelous."

"Greyback... likes everything they get to come from him. So he made a great fuss of establishing that he was ordering me to teach them. And he watches the lessons."

"Oh. That's what Moody meant by 'Greyback hovering.'"

"Partly." He looked down. "I've struck a deal with him."

"What?"

"It seems that he's not particularly keen on the children mastering a skill that he's nearly forgotten entirely. He won't tell them that he doesn't know how."

Tonks felt an amused smile playing around her lips. "You're teaching Fenrir Greyback to read?"

Remus nodded. "That's my half."

Amusement faded. "Your half?"

"Greyback is able to control his thoughts when he's transformed. Not as well as a human does, of course, but..." He sighed. "I can't have the Wolfsbane Potion this year. It has a distinct odor. They all think of it something like a neutering spe..." His face went red. "They don't think well of it. And I dislike not having any control of my own mind. I suppose I'd got used to..." He waved it off and stood up again. "I didn't put it that way to Greyback, of course. I told him I admired his sense of identity, and wanted to learn that. And so on. Horrible lies."

"So you're teaching him to read, and he's teaching you to be a self-aware wolf. Quid pro quo."

"Right. Which means I've spent a lot more hours in the company of Fenrir Greyback than I would like to have. He was there constantly the first two days. Even slept nearby to make sure the pups didn't come sneaking to me for lessons that he wasn't there to watch." His nose wrinkled and his lip curled upward. "He practically owns them, Dora. Possesses them. And some of them, the girls, when they grow up..." He shuddered. "Of course every time I start to get self-righteous about that, I think about bloody doll I enchanted for you when you were five, or about drawing kittens on your bows, and--"

"Stop."

"I can't stop." He put his hand on the windowsill and looked out over the Weasleys' garden. "Where am I different? What's the difference?"

Tonks got up and went to him, sliding her arms around him from behind. He grabbed her hands desperately. "Speaking as someone who had to work damnably hard to get you to notice she'd grown up at all, I think it's safe to say that you didn't have a look at me when I was playing with my dolls and think, 'Ah, I'll take that one now and keep her for later.'"

He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. She spread the fingers of her other hand out over his chest. He shivered, and then he turned in her arms and she was pressed against him, his hands roving over her back, his lips pressed to her forehead, her cheekbones. She turned up her face and he found the hollow of her throat and nuzzled her.

She put her hands in his hair, caressing his skull. "I've missed you."

He didn't answer, just let his hands trail up to her shoulders and his lips find hers briefly. He pushed her gently away from him and caught his breath. "That was... something of a mixed message, wasn't it?"

"It didn't feel particularly mixed to me."

He took a few aimless steps away from her. "Greyback has us hunting humans," he said out of nowhere. "I was with the pack. They chased Muggle campers. They didn't bite anyone, but I was there. I went along. I couldn't stop."

"And that's why you're trying to learn to control it. From Greyback if you must."

He nodded. "Want what the wolf wants," he muttered, and she supposed it was a quote. He took a deep shaky breath. "I don't like what the wolf wants. At least not most of the time. And I can't control it. I... just now..."

"I'm not prey, Remus," Tonks said, going cold, understanding where he was going with this.

"You're not inside my skull when I touch you. I'll hurt you, Dora. Someday I'll hurt you."

"I believe that was Sunday. And you were planning to do it again on Tuesday. And I have a feeling you're plotting to do it right now. And it's the perfectly human Remus who's doing it, so don't try to lay it on your bloody inner wolf."

"Do you have the slightest idea what I am?"

"Oddly, for years, I've thought you were my dearest friend." She thought about going to him, but didn't. "There are a lot of things in my life that I can lose, Remus. You're not one of them. Don't leave me."

He closed his eyes. "Be happy, Dora," he said thickly, then turned on his heel and left the Burrow, turning as he passed the Apparition wards and vanishing into his own hell.

She stayed for lunch with Molly and Arthur (Arthur had taken to Apparating home for his lunch hour when he could; he claimed convenience but Tonks saw worry), and got back to Hogsmeade in the early afternoon. Proudfoot commented on her absence, but Tonks didn't rise to the bait. She did have time off, and she could spend it as she liked.

Feeling a bit low and tired, she tried Sanjiv's, thinking he might be able to distract her, but he was gone. Madam Puddifoot downstairs told her that he had got work for a Muggle, doing some sort of drawing for advertisements, and he was off to show his work or some such thing. "Looked right sharp for it, too," Madam Puddifoot said. "He's a homely thing usually, but he put himself together today."

Tonks thanked her for the information and didn't stay to order a coffee.

She asked Dawlish if there was anything that needed doing since she had some extra time on her hands, and he snapped at her for bothering him--"It's not my job to keep you entertained!" Madam Rosmerta was doing an inventory, and of course the Hogwarts contingent was otherwise occupied during the school year. She managed to make half an hour's guarded conversation with Aberforth about the missing items from Grimmauld Place--Aberforth agreed to keep an eye out for Dung--but even he had other things on his mind.

She didn't precisely decide to go to her parents' for dinner, but she found herself in the back garden Apparition shelter nonetheless. Bludger, poking around after a mouse, meowed a surprised greeting. She picked him up and carried him inside.

Mum was apparently still at work, and Dad was in the cellar, in the room they kept aside for Muggle gadgets that ran on electricity. Magic was strictly forbidden here. Dad was at his computer, making one of his periodic attempts at learning something other than electronic card games, and as he turned the screen off as soon as Tonks walked in, she guessed he was trying to write up reports on his patients.

"Dora," he said, getting up and kissing her cheek. "What a pleasant surprise."

"I'm glad someone somewhere is actually someplace I know to look."

He smiled and led her to a sofa. "Hard day?"

"It could have been worse. How are you? How's Mum? Are you still arguing?"

"Are we still...? Oh, that. No. We both backed off. I'm just working through my contacts, making sure everyone's on board. And Mum..." He paused, and then spoke carefully. "She's not quite as keen to go after her sisters."

Tonks frowned. "Not that I'm not glad to see her back away, but why on Earth would she?"

Dad sighed. "Your Aunt Narcissa came by," he said.

"Oh, please. After everything she found out last year? After she found out Aunt Narcissa and Aunt Bellatrix tried to... well, did... stop her from having any more children?"

"I know. And I'm afraid I was less than civil. But Narcissa is Andromeda's baby sister, and she seemed quite upset about something. She wouldn't tell Andi what, but she was over for several hours drinking tea and talking about their childhood. Andi tried to throw her out at first, but you know your mum. She started worrying."

"Right. Mum worrying is Mum dropping everything else."

"Mm-hmmm. And for what it's worth, Narcissa managed to be civil to me. Almost. Well, at least she spoke directly to me, which is progress of a sort."

"I don't suppose she happened to leave a forwarding address for Bellatrix?"

"No. But your mum did try. Asked her straight out if she knew where Bellatrix was."

"What did she say?"

"She just sat there glaring until Andi dropped the subject. Why are you here, Dora?"

The change in subject was so abrupt that Tonks almost missed it, continuing to sit and wait for more about Narcissa for several seconds before she realized that Dad had asked her a question. "I, er..." She shrugged. "I don't know. I saw Remus this morning."

"Oh." Dad had arranged his face into the kind of bland, disinterested expression he wore with his patients. "It didn't go particularly well?"

"I don't know. Are you still angry with him?"

"Yes."

"Will you pretend not to be for a minute?"

"If that's what you need."

"It is. I hate you and Mum being angry with him. It's not his fault. He's got this bloody assignment and I can't tell you everything about it, but it's awful. It's the worst possible thing for him. And now he's got it in his head that he's some sort of... I don't know, he thinks there's something wrong with him. About me. You know, about how we knew each other before, when I was little. And... I mean, he's said it before, and I always told him it was silly, but now he's thinking about it all the time and--"

"Is he with Greyback?"

Tonks stopped. "I can't tell you that."

"And I can't tell you how I happen to know the name. How much do you know about when he was bitten?"

"Not a lot."

Dad hissed to himself and muttered about "keeping bloody secrets that aren't his damned fault," but didn't elaborate. He shook his head. "If he ever gets around to letting you back in, get him to actually talk to you. I can't speak to the subject any further."

Tonks took a moment to process this. Dad was a good friend to the people in his circle, but he wouldn't keep a confidence he thought foolish to keep unless it had been given to him in a professional capacity.

Remus had been a patient of Dad's at some point.

Dad didn't tend to deal with physical ailments.

"When?" she asked.

"A very long time ago, and--"

"And you can't even pinpoint it."

"No."

A thought dawned on Tonks for the first time, though as soon as it occurred to her, she wondered why it never had before. "You and Mum thought the same thing. That's why Mum was upset with him last year."

"No. No... I..." Dad got up and paced across the room. "Part of our job is to worry about the kinds of situations we put you in. We always thought Remus was perfectly safe--"

"Seeing as he was."

"--and we were right, but just for a moment, realizing that he could see you that way... I was uncomfortable about it."

"And Mum?"

"Was going through a lot of other things last year, and was expecting to be betrayed. She got over it. We both did. But Remus is a lot harder on himself than anyone else is."

"I can't believe it even crossed your mind," Tonks muttered.

Dad put his finger on her chin and made her look at him, just as he used to when she was small and trying to get away with something. "You listen to me, Nymphadora," he said. "You had the easy part in all of this. You decided what you wanted right off, and you never wavered. Bully for you. Little girls have that privilege. The adults in their lives are the ones who have to make adjustments when they grow up. It's not easy to stop thinking of that line as the Great Uncrossable, and now that Remus has crossed it, he's questioning everything. So did Mum and I. I'm utterly shocked that Sirius didn't, but then he was away for a long time."

"Molly and Arthur--"

"Only met you briefly as a child. They know you as a lovely young woman who makes a good man happy. Which is probably a clearer viewpoint," he conceded. "I know your first instinct is to lose that Black temper of yours and be frustrated with the lot of us for worrying about ridiculous things that have no grounding in reality. But sometimes feelings don't, and you just have to let them run their course. If he can't make the adjustment, it's better he knows now."

"But he did make it," she said. "Dad, I can't tell you everything, but I just can't let him start thinking about things like this. He has to hold on. He'll vanish. Daddy, he's vanishing right in front of me and I can't stop him."

"No, you can't."

"Dad..."

He held up a hand. "Remus needs to deal with this, and maybe he needs to vanish for awhile to do it. But I know him. More important, you know him. He always comes back."

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid he won't. He says he's not going to."

Dad laughed abruptly. "I would note that he seems to say that in the midst of very personal conversations that he keeps having with you."

"Well..."

"Dora, he has his absurd fear. And you have yours. And you both think it sounds eminently reasonable. It might even look that way to someone else. But I know you don't want him to give in to his fear. Are you planning to give in to yours?"

"But I can't seem to hold onto him. That's what I always did when he tried to vanish before."

"It was never you he was vanishing from. And it's not really Remus you need to hold onto. He's yours. And he'll come back. It's something in you that you need to hold onto."

"I don't know how."

"You'll figure it out. Now, tell me about Hogsmeade."

Slowly, she warmed to talking about her job and her room, and the odd clientele that frequented the Hog's Head. Mum arrived home in time for dinner and didn't ask a lot of questions about why she was here. Tonks told her about the missing items at Grimmauld Place, which was good for a long rant about Bellatrix and her obsessions. Just before sunset, Tonks kissed her parents goodnight and Apparated back home.

She paused outside the Hog's Head, looking up the hill at the lonely house at the edge of town, which had never been haunted at all... at least not by the sorts of ghosts people knew how to deal with. The shutters were falling and the grounds were overgrown.

She went through the security wards and into the back of the house, entering the shattered kitchen. The chair she'd fixed on the night she'd come here with Remus was lying on its side in the doorway; she supposed she'd knocked it over in her rush to get back to the school on Sunday night.

She righted it and pushed it to the cracked table, then drew her wand and repaired the crack.

She paused, listening to the humming silence in the Shrieking Shack, and then slowly, methodically, began to clean.